


Horns

by saturnskys



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Dream Team SMP Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt No Comfort, Mentioned Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Self-Harm, Snowchester on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo Angst, Toby Smith | Tubbo Has Horns, Toby Smith | Tubbo Has a Bad Time, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, Toby Smith | Tubbo is Not Okay, Traumatized Toby Smith | Tubbo, Tubbo really does not like having horns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29838858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturnskys/pseuds/saturnskys
Summary: Horns. They brought back more then Tubbo wished they would. He wish they would go away. Wishes he could get rid of them. Wishes people would stop seeing Schlatt in him.He wished for so much.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	Horns

**Author's Note:**

> woah this is an old piece of writing,, from like 2 weeks ago is when i last touched it,, which isnt like me,, 
> 
> Kudos and Comments are appreciated <3 
> 
> TW : blood, scratching, self harm,

_   
_ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Just Like Schlatt.” _

I watched as all my memories of Schlatt spun around me. How- How could they say I’m like  _ him. Him _ of all people to be like. 

I wasn’t like him. Was I? 

I watched, as I was trapped in a yellow box, imprisoned, cornered. I watched as the firework went off. Bright, colorful, Technoblade had promised it would be. Not that I really knew if it had been, my eyes had been squeezed shut when the firework went off. 

I watched again, as Schlatt yelled, and yelled, at me, at Quackity, at everyone. 

I watched as he exiled Tommy and Wilbur. The people I told myself I’d follow to the ends of the Earth. 

Wilbur. The founder and leader of L’Manburg. I followed him into war. I stood behind as he created nothing into something. 

Tommy. My best friend. It was us against the world. It was me and him against Dream. I told myself I would follow him anywhere. 

So why did I exile him. 

Why? We had promised each other we’d always have each other, we’d always have each others backs. So why. Why did I do that? I broke the pact, the promise we made what felt like years ago. 

Then the tower was there. Tall and thin, reaching up into the pale blue sky, so tall I couldn’t see the top. The area around me was smokey. Fire still burned on the posts Tommy had made. The crater of what Wilb- Ghostbur said was Logstedshire. I hated it. I hated it all. Logstedshire, the tent, the tower. The tower. The  _ stupid _ tower. Reaching so high in the blue sky. The pretty blue sky. Dandelions grew on the ground of what wasn’t blown up. It was such a pretty place, now destroyed with what happened here. 

It would have been such a pretty place, if the situation had been different.

Then I woke up. Hands shaky. Tears blurred my eyes. 

I wiped my tears and sat, shaking curled in the corner of my bed. In SnowChester. SnowChester, this place was meant to feel safe, it was meant to feel- warm. Despite being in the snow. It was meant to feel like home. 

I had forgotten what home feels like. After my Presidency, after Schlatt. 

Why did it always come back to Schlatt?

Why was it always Schlatt? 

I wasn’t like Schlatt. But I was in so many ways. 

The horns, a constant reminder of my similarities so Schlatt. They felt like they weighed me down. I hated them. I  _ hate _ them. 

My hand wrapped around the horn. Pulling, tugging, trying to rip the horn out of my head. It hurt, so much, but the pain was worth it. I want the horns gone. I want the reminder gone. 

Scratching, the base of the horn, ripping at skin as if that would help get the horn off. 

Blood ran down the side of my head, dripping onto my shoulder and back. It stained my shirt, another one blood stained. 

I just wanted to be rid of them. They felt like heavy weights on the sides of my head. If they were gone. Maybe then, maybe, I can feel free of him. Free of this fear that I’ll end up  _ exactly _ like him. Free of the comparisons, I know people look at me and see him. If the horns are gone, maybe the looks with stop. Maybe people will look at me and won’t see him. 

So I scratch and pull and tug at the dreaded horns. I didn’t want to be like  _ him.  _ Soon I stop. Laying my head against my pillow. The blood runs down the side of my head, on to the pillow. Where it soaks into the fabric, dying it dark red. 

No matter what I did, the horns wouldn’t come off. They were here and here to stay, as much as I  _ hated _ it. 

Life’s unfair. 

Life’s unfair and there’s nothing we can do about it. I was stuck with these horns, as unfair as it was. 

Was it unfair?

I mean— I exiled Tommy, my best friend. I helped in the execution of Technoblade. I planned a festival so we could execute Dream. 

It’s all been done before. 

It’s all been done by Schlatt. 

But I wasn’t changing the ways of L’Manburg. And I wasn’t taxing people, or changing the name. 

But I  _ was _ left behind. 

By nearly everyone. By the end of my presidency I was basically completely alone. At that point I really had– Ranboo. Tommy by doomsday. Everyone else left me behind. I can’t really blame them, I’m not too great of a person. My presidency made that clear to everyone. 

So they all left. 

Like they did to Schlatt. Like  _ I  _ did to Schlatt. 

Ranboo. Ranboo had been a traitor, worked with Technoblade, and Tommy. He was like me. 

The only difference is that he didn’t die for having  _ friends.  _

I died for what I did, he didn’t. 

I didn’t order his death.

If I didn’t understand Ranboo and why he would do that, would I have had him executed? 

No. 

I wouldn’t.

Maybe I was like Schlatt. Maybe. But I wouldn’t execute someone unless they really deserved it. 

But I exiled Tommy. What stopped me from having Ranboo killed? 

I was forced to exile Tommy. 

That’s the difference. 

Schlatt exiled Tommy and Wilbur because he didn’t want them around. I exiled Tommy because I needed to. 

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. 

I hate nightmares. I hate Schlatt. I hate the way I am with my emotions. I hate the way I think. I hate that I’ll never be able to be a kid again. 

I hate these horns. 

But they're here now. And I’m stuck with this–  _ curse _ . Maybe one day I’ll be able to look at myself and not see him. 

Maybe someday other people won’t see him. 

Maybe. 

Just maybe. 

Someday, people will see me for me. 

Not a spy, or traitor, or government, a monster, a villain, or anything. 

Maybe someday people will look at me and see Tubbo. 

It’s only a wish though, a dream if you will. 

Not like I expect it to come true. 

Maybe I’ll find peace being seen as those things. Maybe they’ll stop affecting me and how I think and feel. 

Maybe. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
